05.06.12 The 10th Practice for Responding to Negative Gossip About You : Manage Your Stress
Manage your Stress
Being gossiped against can be very overwhelming should you persistently worry about the rumour and possible repercussions. Such stress can be exacerbated by the fact that often times, your hands are tied since you cannot alter the rumour to your advantage or stop it from circulating.
When it came to our encounter with the defamatory rumour, one of the mistakes I made was to underestimate just how stressful the negative gossip could get, until things started bursting at the seams, leaving incredible damage in their wake as our business crumbled, threatening to take my very life with it. Fortunately, God was there the whole time, watching over us as we went through that inferno. With prayer and a health regimen coupled with consistent faith-filled confessions, I finally broke through then learnt to manage my stress; otherwise I would have left the planet a long time ago.
Looking at the JuaLink story, you may recall how Lulu’s gossip caused Faraja to stay awake almost the whole night. Had she known how to use God’s Word to manage stress, she would have applied Philippians 4:8 for example, by declaring: ... “I am an excellent performer, with a record that JuaLink’s shareholders praise and admire. The truth is, my marriage is healthy, pure, and holy…” With a chain of such stress-relieving thoughts and affirmations, falling asleep would never have been a problem! Plus, she would have woken up much happier and ready to enjoy God’s benefits (Psalm 68:19) rather than allowing Lulu’s gossip to destroy the publicity manager’s comfort, peace and happiness!
Nehemiah was good at managing stress; seeing that he kept going day and night until the wall was in place (Nehemiah 4:23).
Unmanaged stress can lead to clinical depression and a pack of other stress-related ailments. Therefore, to remain healthy, identify and address all stress triggers associated with that rumour. In Ephesians 4:31, the bible gives an exhaustive list of such hot buttons. That scripture reads (AMPC): 31Let all bitterness and indignation and wrath (passion, rage, bad temper) and resentment (anger, animosity) and quarreling (brawling, clamor, contention) and slander (evil-speaking, abusive or blasphemous language) be banished from you, with all malice (spite, ill will, or baseness of any kind.)
Another thing to reemphasize is that, since (as mentioned earlier) most gossipers commonly derive satisfaction from seeing a victim ‘finished’ and ‘done for’ as a result of a rumour the mongers generated, you should never contribute to their gratification by failing to manage your stress or succumbing to it.
Understandably, a rumour could make things appear like you have reached “a dead end’. However, remember that it is not possible for your whole life to be encapsulated in that one gossip story. So, train your thoughts to focus on what is working. As suggested above, Philippians 4:8 brings that out by giving a checklist of what should occupy your thoughts when faced with such a situation. That lovely, amazing and comforting scripture reads (CEB): 8… if anything is excellent and if anything is admirable, focus your thoughts on these things: all that is true, all that is holy, all that is just, all that is pure, all that is lovely, and all that is worthy ofpraise. This requires that you discipline your mind to trash any thoughts that are contrary to what has been itemised in that verse.