05.04.12 The 10th Driver of Negative Gossip

10. Lack of Personal Responsibility

Personal responsibility refers to one’s ability to accept that she or he is morally and legally in charge of the results or outcomes of his or her choices. The lack of personal responsibility is common amongst negative gossipers, as many deny being personally responsible for the consequences of the rumours they propagate. Whilst failing to accept their (gossipers’) shortfalls, they are quick to spot those of victims. To compound the problem, the mongers could even coin ‘gossiping’ as a ‘strength’ or talent that highlights how sociable, bold or transparent the negative gossipers are; and their ability to express themselves without fear or favour.

Thinking of our story, the officer who objected to the mystery shopping visit could have composed the rumour to divert his superiors’ attention from the gaps we saw and the responsibilities attached to that. In reference to the prospective partner’s proposal, it also may be that his superiors had tasked him to onboard us into their clique; and that when we rejected his idea, he had to come up with an explanation for failing to complete that assignment thence resorting to a defamatory rumour to put the superiors off his case.

In Nehemiah 13:28, the bible reveals how, interestingly, the high priest, Eliashib, lacked personal responsibility. Apparently, the priest happened to be Sanballat’s in law. To be specific, Eliashib's grandson was married to a relative of Sanballat. You could remember how, after Nehemiah had temporarily returned to Persia, the high priest teamed up with Sanballat’s gossip-mate, Tobiah, accommodating the Ammonite in the temple's storeroom, not caring about his priestly responsibility of ensuring proper use of the storerooms and items in line with God's Law (Nehemiah 13:4-28). Although the bible is silent about Eliashib and Tobiah’s interaction, I assume that the two men frequently gossiped against Nehemiah in the whole process; to the extent of throwing the priest’s personal responsibility out of the window.

In the JuaLink story, we see that the members of the prayer group lacked personal responsibility considering that they denied their role in the exodus of star performers to Bidacom Africa, hiding behind the excuse that ‘they had just picked the rumour as a prayer point’. We also see Lulu’s lack of personal responsibility surfacing during the team-building sessions that Eliya organised. Apparently, rather than mentioning at least one or two of her own weaknesses, the publicity officer would be quick to list those of her colleagues while amplifying her strengths. Whenever team members hinted on Lulu’s negative gossip habit, she would complain that ‘people’ (meaning Faraja) were ‘witch-hunting’ her, to make it appear as though ‘witch-hunting’ was one of the publicity manager’s vices, with Lulu being the saintly victim.