05.06.08 The 6th Practice for Responding to Negative Gossip About You : Keep Your Private Life Private
Keep your Private Life ‘Private’
Did you know that in the process of desperately struggling to defend yourself from a bad rumour, you could end up exposing your private issues to whoever can give you redress? To make matters worse, sharing such information is likely to stimulate even more gossip. As if that is not enough, your private issues may be the arsenal that the gossiper was looking for in order to turn your life into a living hell by disclosing those secrets to whoever can listen.
That was one of the mistakes I made at that time as my desperate need for vindication from the defamatory rumour drove me to release personal information; which only served to make me feel worse. For instance, reverting to my story and the official who gave me an appointment after one whole year of looking for that window, I actually went ahead and shared how the rumour had driven our finances down to the extent that our office and house rent was long overdue; and that the landlords for the two facilities were putting us on hard pressure. I also explained that our children would need fees to cover their education if the situation was to persist. Then I added how I had been very ill and that I had lost a sister earlier in the day. But, apart from murmuring that he was sorry for my loss, the official just said that he was not ready to make any comments on my issue. To sum it up, opening my privacy in search of empathy did not help one bit.
Nehemiah, on the other hand, was much wiser. The first thing you notice is that there is hardly anything written about his private life. I can’t imagine what the haters would have said if they had laid hands on just a crystal of his privacy. They would have used that to drag his life through the mud.
Therefore, although you may have heard a rumour about ‘yourself’, if you do not want your private life to continue being discussed in the corridors, keep your private life ‘private’ nomatter how sour or desperate you may be feeling about the rumour itself and those propagating it.
Further, be careful about what you say when upset since your words may act as a catalyst to fuel more rumours, thereby making the situation worse.
All in all, remember to be discreet especially when caught in the heat of the moment. Proverbs 25:9-10 warns us when it says (NLT) 9When arguing with your neighbor, don’t betray another person’s secret. 10Others may accuse you of gossip, and you will never regain your good reputation.