05.06.07 The 5th Practice for Responding to Negative Gossip About You : Consider Informing Your Supervisor
Consider Informing your Supervisor
As already mentioned, negative gossip may grow to levels that you cannot humanly manage; for example, if it crosses the line into verbal abuse, violence, harassment, destroying of valuable relationships or even threatening your work performance. Should that happen, and of course depending on the potential harm that could result if the rumour was to be circulated, consider alerting your supervisor or exposing the individual.
Being the owners of our consultancy firm with God as the supervisor since the firm started, we informed Him of the defamatory rumour (Philippians 4:6-7); and trust me, though the going was really rough while it lasted, His intervention made it easier for us to wade through.
Likewise, God was Nehemiah’s supervisor; and the man reported to deity throughout the wall-rebuilding project. For instance in Nehemiah 4:4-5, and as already cited elsewhere, we see him harshly escalating an issue to God after Sanballat and Tobiah rubbished the walls that Nehemiah and his team were rebuilding. Here is how he prayed (NKJV): 4Hear, O our God, for we are despised; turn their reproach on their own heads, and give them as plunder to a land of captivity! 5Do not cover their iniquity, and do not let their sin be blotted out from before You; for they have provoked You to anger before the builders.
Therefore, there are times when the best thing to do is to escalate the rumour to a supervisor or someone at a higher level. Ephesians 5:11 says (ESV): 11Take no part in the unfruitful works of darkness, but instead expose them. Nonetheless, be cautious as you plan to do that. How fair is the supervisor who you intend to report to? What is the current relationship between that supervisor and the gossiper? Will the supervisor understand where you are coming from or is she or he likely to side with the negative gossiper to your detriment? These questions are important since some supervisors protect gossipers, which defeats the purpose of notifying the gossipers in the first place.
That said, it may not always be that easy to blow the whistle. For example, when you look at the JuaLink story, Faraja faced such a challenge despite the negative gossip that was growing against her. For instance, when Lulu instigated to Faraja’s husband Matayo that his wife was cheating with Eliya, the new publicity manager could have reported Lulu straight to the managing director, Njia. But you may recall that the few times that Faraja had attempted to take that path, Njia would defend Lulu, insisting that the publicity officer had been born that way and that Faraja should ‘let the publicity officer be’. Therefore, had publicity manager continued to report the publicity officer to the managing director, Faraja’s efforts would have backfired since it was obvious that Njia would side with his sister, Lulu. As you may remember,that was the reason Faraja resigned.
Therefore, while contemplating on how to engage your supervisor, check if your organisation has processes and procedures for managing negative gossip, as already discussed elsewhere. If yes, do the steps include notifying supervisors? At what stage and under what circumstances should the supervisors be involved? Take time to familiarise yourself with the existing arrangement so that your attempt to report the gossiper to your supervisor does not backfire, hit the wall or land on deaf ears.
Another thing to note is that, in case you choose to report the monger to your supervisor, remember to record or document the deliberations so that ‘words are not put in your mouth’ afterwards. Also, be prepared for possible consequences or backlashes.