05.02.11 The 9th Consequence of Participating in Negative Gossip
9. Loss of Trust
People do not trust negative gossipers given that it is very common for the latter to use the gossip as a means of betraying the very people who dare to trust them.
That was how I dropped my trust for one prophetess who our friend had invited, and requested us to attend the meetings that she (friend) had organised for the minister. To bless the prophetess, my husband and I had decided to drop a handsome gift to her hotel; but were surprised when she asked to meet each of us without the other. Amazingly, when I met her the following day, she told me that my husband had a girlfriend and was planning to start cheating with her. Although I was utterly shocked to say the least, my reaction was very guarded, being aware that it had become increasingly common for some ‘ministers’ to use baseless gossip to control non-suspecting Christians and make them so desperate that they developed a dependence on the minister. That way, the ‘dependent sheep’ would open themselves to being manipulated for the minister’s selfish gains. When I disclosed the ‘prophecy’ to my husband, he was so upset, demanding that we face the prophetess for details of that allegation. Cheating? Where and with who? To cut a long story short, we later discovered that the prophetess had been lying and therefore severed the relationship.
In 2 Samuel 15, we read how David’s son Absalom lost his father’s trust due to negative gossip. It all started in 2 Samuel 13, when one of David’s sons, Amnon, who also happened to be a stepbrother to Absalom, lusted after then raped his stepsister Tamar, Absalom’s full sister. Seeing that David had not punished Amnon, Absalom took the matter in his own hands and killed his step-brother after which he fled to exile. However, in theprocess of time, Absalom returned to Jerusalem and David forgave him (2 Samuel 14), not knowing that he (Absalom) was hatching a wicked plan to overthrow David’s rule, using negative gossip to instigate that King David was uncaring and incompetent. This disturbing narrative is reported in 2 Samuel 15:1-6 which reads (CEV): 1Some time later, Absalom got himself a chariot with horses to pull it, and he had 50 men run in front. 2He would get up early each morning and wait by the side of the road that led to the city gate. Anyone who had a complaint to bring to King David would have to go that way, and Absalom would ask each of them, “Where are you from?” If they said, “I'm from a tribe in the north,” 3Absalom would say, “You deserve to win your case. It's too bad the king doesn't have anyone to hear complaints like yours. 4I wish someone would make me the judge around here! I would be fair to everyone.” 5Whenever anyone came to Absalom and started bowing down, he would reach out and hug and kiss them. 6That's how he treated everyone from Israel who brought a complaint to the king. Soon everyone in Israel liked Absalom better than they liked David.
Looking at the JuaLink story, not only did Neema stop trusting Lulu but had to withdraw from their friendship after discovering how the publicity officer would spill people’s secrets without any brakes. It dawned on the young graduate (Neema) that since Lulu would definitely disclose people’s secrets behind their backs, Neema’s private issues would never be safe with Lulu.
When you gossip against others, chances are that people will no longer trust your credibility as they rightfully assume that you shall gossip against them too, as mentioned earlier. In the end, they could withhold valuable information that you could have otherwise used to further your career or even enhance your performance. By taking part in the vice, you, in essence, are alerting colleagues that you are not worth trusting; and that people who dare confide in you, do so at their own risk. Therefore, it is not surprising that Proverbs 20:19 advises people to avoid gossipers. That scripture reads (NLT): 19A gossip goes around telling secrets, so don’t hang around with chatterers