01.07.T01-RS — Reflection Scorecard: It Takes Two to Tango

Reflecting on What Can Make It Difficult for Others to Forgive You

This Reflection Scorecard invites you to reflect on the behaviours explored in this chapter and consider how your own response after offending someone may make it easier or more difficult for that person to forgive you.

1. What did Birungi believe Lutalo could have done differently after offending her?

2. Have you ever offended someone and continued interacting with that person without acknowledging what had happened?

☐ Yes
☐ No
☐ I am not sure

If yes, what prevented you from acknowledging the offence?

3. Have you ever found it difficult to apologise to someone you offended?

☐ Yes
☐ No
☐ I am not sure

If yes, what made apologising difficult for you?

4. Have you ever tried to show someone that you were sorry without actually apologising?

☐ Yes
☐ No
☐ I am not sure

If yes, what did you do instead?

5. What did Lutalo's reaction to complaints from his employees cause them to do?

6. Have you ever become angry or reacted strongly when someone told you that you had offended him or her?

☐ Yes
☐ No
☐ I am not sure

If yes, how did your reaction affect the discussion that followed?

7. Have you ever repeated a behaviour after someone had already told you that the behaviour offended him or her?

☐ Yes
☐ No
☐ I am not sure

If yes, why did the behaviour continue?

8. What was wrong with the way Shila apologised to Rehema?

9. When someone confronts you about something you have done, do you sometimes find yourself explaining your actions before acknowledging the person's complaint?

☐ Yes
☐ No
☐ I am not sure

If yes, what usually prompts you to respond in that way?

10. Have you ever responded to being confronted about an offence by pointing out what the other person had also done wrong?

☐ Yes
☐ No
☐ I am not sure

If yes, what happened to the original issue during the discussion?

11. What effect did Tibaine's decision to stop speaking to Desta have on their disagreement?

12. Have you ever withdrawn communication from someone following a disagreement or confrontation?

☐ Yes
☐ No
☐ I am not sure

If yes, what were you hoping the withdrawal would achieve?

13. What did Lutalo communicate to the employee whose attempt to make amends he rejected?

14. Have you ever rejected or resisted another person's attempt to resolve a disagreement with you?

☐ Yes
☐ No
☐ I am not sure

If yes, what made you unwilling to respond to the person's attempt at the time?

15. What happened to Birungi after she challenged the figures Lutalo presented to the board?

16. Have you ever treated someone less favourably after that person complained about something you had done or challenged your conduct?

☐ Yes
☐ No
☐ I am not sure

If yes, what did you do?

17. Have you ever expected someone to overlook or forgive something you did while finding it difficult to extend the same consideration when that person offended you?

☐ Yes
☐ No
☐ I am not sure

If yes, what have you recognised about the difference between what you expected from that person and what you were prepared to extend?

18. Have you observed someone in your space making it difficult for another person to forgive him or her?

☐ Yes
☐ No
☐ I am not sure

If yes, what did the person do or fail to do?

19. Which of the behaviours discussed in this chapter have you recognised in your own response after offending someone?

20. In reference to what you have read in this chapter, what would you like to change about the way you respond after offending someone? Why?