01.04.T01-RS — Reflection Scorecard: The Costs of Unforgiveness

Reflecting on the Costs of Unforgiveness

This Reflection Scorecard invites you to examine the nine costs presented in this section, reflect on the experiences of the people whose stories you have read and consider what those experiences have brought into focus in your own life.

Reflection Questions

1. Which of the nine costs of unforgiveness caused you to reconsider most seriously what unforgiveness can cost a person? Why?

2. Apio remained deeply affected by Sembatya while he continued with his life. Have you ever allowed an offence or an offender to interfere with your happiness long after the offence occurred?

☐ Yes
☐ No
☐ I am not sure

If yes, in what way was your happiness affected?

3. What did Nuwa's experience cause you to consider about the possible relationship between unforgiveness and a person's well-being?

4. Which aspects of Mugaya's response to Nyayo contributed to the deterioration of his emotional well-being?

5. At what point did Samweli's response to Sofia and Bendera begin to create consequences beyond the original offence?

6. What was Eliza doing that gradually affected her relationships with friends and relatives?

7. What did Nabakka lose when she allowed her response to Mulimba and Rinata's betrayal to influence her decision to leave the school?

8. Have you ever made, or considered making, an important decision primarily because of an offence or an offender?

☐ Yes
☐ No
☐ I am not sure

If yes, what was at stake?

9. What was Bavawala ultimately trying to achieve through the decisions he made after his disagreement with Hawa?

10. What did his experience reveal about allowing the desire to prove a point to an offender to influence important decisions?

11. What consequences did Yanita create for herself and other people when she responded to Mpewo's unfaithfulness by becoming unfaithful herself?

12. Have you ever been tempted to respond to an offence in a way that could create additional problems for you or other people?

☐ Yes
☐ No
☐ I am not sure

If yes, what response did you consider?

13. What was Teberonda blaming himself for and what does his experience reveal about unforgiveness directed towards oneself?

14. Have you continued to blame yourself for a mistake, failure or outcome that you find difficult to forgive yourself for?

☐ Yes
☐ No
☐ I am not sure

If yes, what have you found most difficult to forgive yourself for?

15. Looking at your own experiences, which of the nine costs of unforgiveness do you recognise or suspect that you may have incurred?

16. Have you recognised any of these costs in the experiences of people in your space?

☐ Yes
☐ No
☐ I am not sure

If yes, which costs have you recognised and how were they evident?

17. At the end of the section, Birungi recognises that she is paying a heavy price while Lutalo may simply be continuing with his life. What did her realisation cause you to reconsider about any price you may be paying because of an offender?

Before You Move On

18. Which cost of unforgiveness would you be least willing to continue paying? Why?

19. What would you particularly like to understand about preventing unforgiveness from exacting these costs in your own life?