Before I Begin: Taking Stock of My Experiences with Forgiving Offenders

Taking Stock Before You Begin

Before beginning this Guide, take some time to consider your experiences with forgiving people who have offended you.

The purpose of this reflection is to establish your starting point. Consider what forgiveness currently means to you, how you have responded to offenders and what your experiences have taught you about forgiving others.

Part A: Your Experiences with Offences

1. Think about some of the significant offences you have experienced. Which ones were the most difficult to forgive?

2. What made those offences particularly difficult to forgive?

3. Are there offences that you once considered difficult to forgive but have since been able to forgive?

☐ Yes
☐ No
☐ I am not sure

If yes, what enabled you to forgive the offenders?

4. Are there offences that you believe you have forgiven but occasionally find yourself reviving?

☐ Yes
☐ No
☐ I am not sure

If yes, what tends to trigger those memories?

5. Have you found some people easier to forgive than others, even when the offences were similar?

☐ Yes
☐ No
☐ I am not sure

If yes, what do you think accounts for the difference?

Part B: Your Understanding of Forgiveness

6. In your opinion, what does it mean to forgive an offender?

7. How do you determine that you have forgiven someone?

8. In your opinion, what does a person who has been offended need to do in order to forgive the offender?

9. In your opinion, what should an offender do in order to be forgiven?

10. Are there circumstances in which you believe an offender should not be forgiven?

☐ Yes
☐ No
☐ I am not sure

Please explain the reasons for your answer.

Part C: Your Responses to Offenders

11. How does a serious offence usually affect the way you relate to the offender?

12. How do you respond when circumstances require you to interact with someone you have found difficult to forgive?

13. How do you respond when someone who has seriously offended you experiences success or good fortune?

14. How do you respond when an offender experiences difficulties or suffers the consequences of his or her actions?

15. When discussing someone who has offended you, how does the offence influence what you say about that person?

Part D: Forgiving Offenders in Your Space

16. What attitudes towards forgiving offenders have you observed among people in your space?

17. Have you observed relationships among people in your space that are still affected by unresolved offences?

☐ Yes
☐ No
☐ I am not sure

If yes, how have the unresolved offences affected those relationships?

18. How do you usually respond when someone in your space is finding it difficult to forgive an offender?

19. What advice do you usually give to someone who is finding it difficult to forgive?

20. To what extent does the advice you give others reflect the way you deal with offenders in your own life?

Part E: Taking Stock

Review your responses to the questions above.

21. What have your responses revealed about your current understanding of forgiveness?

22. What have your responses revealed about the way you respond to offenders?

23. Based on your experiences, what factors have made it easier or more difficult for you to forgive an offender?

24. Are there aspects of forgiveness that you do not fully understand?

☐ Yes
☐ No

If yes, what would you like to understand better?

As You Begin the Guide

25. As you read this Guide, what would you particularly like to understand about forgiving offenders?

26. Is there anything about the way you respond to offenders that you would like to examine more closely?