01.06.T01-RS — Reflection Scorecard: How to Forgive

Reflecting on What It Means to Forgive

This Reflection Scorecard invites you to examine your understanding of forgiveness in light of the principles and experiences explored in this chapter and consider what they reveal about your own experiences of forgiving offenders.

1. Birungi believed that Lutalo's failure to apologise could prevent her from forgiving him. Have you ever believed that an offender needed to do something before you could forgive him or her?

☐ Yes
☐ No
☐ I am not sure

If yes, what did you expect the offender to do?

2. What did Katalina do when she recognised that bitterness towards Nathani was developing within her?

3. What did Abigayeli change in the way she thought about her secretary after deciding to forgive her?

4. Have you ever made a deliberate decision to forgive someone even though your feelings towards that person had not yet changed?

☐ Yes
☐ No
☐ I am not sure

If yes, how did you respond when the negative feelings resurfaced?

5. What mistake did Nuru make after forgiving Upendo the first time?

6. Have you ever confused forgiving an offender with disregarding what you had learnt about that person's behaviour?

☐ Yes
☐ No
☐ I am not sure

If yes, what happened?

7. How did Nassama discover that an offence she believed she had dealt with was still affecting her?

8. Have you ever believed that you had forgiven an offender and later discovered that resentment towards that person was still present?

☐ Yes
☐ No
☐ I am not sure

If yes, what made you realise that the resentment was still present?

9. What changed in Mugaya's view of Nyayo when he considered the situation from his manager's perspective?

10. Have you ever considered an offence from the offender's perspective and subsequently viewed the situation differently?

☐ Yes
☐ No
☐ I am not sure

If yes, what did you recognise that you had not considered previously?

11. What did Bavawala recognise about competing with Hawa after he learnt about forgiveness?

12. What did Laheri recognise about repeatedly recalling and recounting her husband's previous offences?

13. Do you find yourself referring to previous offences when the same person offends you again?

☐ Yes
☐ No
☐ Sometimes

If yes or sometimes, how does recalling the previous offences influence your response to the current one?

14. What enabled Lesedi to view her housemaid differently after the offence involving the ice cream?

15. Have you ever allowed one serious offence to determine how you subsequently viewed the offender as a person?

☐ Yes
☐ No
☐ I am not sure

If yes, what qualities or contributions of that person became difficult for you to recognise?

16. What distinction did you identify between forgiving an offender and reconciling with that person?

17. Have you ever been reluctant to forgive someone because you believed that forgiveness would require you to restore the relationship to what it was before the offence?

☐ Yes
☐ No
☐ I am not sure

If yes, how did that belief affect your willingness to forgive?

18. Which principle in this chapter has caused you to reconsider your previous opinions about forgiveness? What opinion did you have previously?

19. Have you recognised any misunderstanding about forgiveness in the way another person in your space has responded to an offender?

☐ Yes
☐ No
☐ I am not sure

If yes, what misunderstanding did you recognise and how was it expressed?

20. In reference to what you have read in this chapter, which principle of forgiveness do you consider most important for you to apply in your own life? Why?