01.05.09 The 7th Practice for Immunising Your Heart from Bitterness and Unforgiveness

7. Do not Punish People ‘in Absentia’

Avoid falling into the trap of condemning people ‘in absentia’…, it is a waste of your valuable time.  Have you ever come across people who maintain bitterness about someone who passed on?  “I will never forgive my grand pa” they carry on and on about ‘an RIP’, shamelessly!  Do not be like them!  This poses a problem, since even if you wanted to settle scores with the offender; the person is nowhere to be seen.  Obviously, such bitterness will just end up harming you rather than the ‘RIP’.  Remember, she or he is beyond feeling your ‘punishments’ and relentlessly harsh comments at this moment or ever.  Therefore, it is more prudent for you to accept the reality; forgive the person and proceed with life.

The problem of punishing offenders who are ‘nowhere to be seen’ can also be manifested through children who are born ‘fatherless’ or ‘motherless’.  If you happen to be such a person, you could grow up with resentment, bitterness, anger and hatred for the parent you never saw.  This situation can be exacerbated by the fact that even though you may feel charged up enough to vent out your anger, your parent will not be there for you to direct your fury to.  You will only end up bottling the venom within you, which could progressively destroy your life, starting from the inside.