01.05.13 The 11th Practice for Immunising Your Heart from Bitterness and Unforgiveness

11. Learn your Lessons

Before Kusanira discovered the secret of ‘learning his lessons’, the manager used to get repeatedly irritated by the behaviour of one of his supervisees, Sulemani; a thing which made Kusanira carry the heavy baggage of unforgiveness ‘to and fro’ for a time.  The manager narrates how Sulemani would never greet him even when they met in corridors; and how Kusanira, being good-mannered, had no option but to greet Sulemani, always.  “The guy’s unwelcoming facial expressions would consistently propel me to refrain from greeting him from thence forward”, the manager reveals.  However, it was not until Kusanira decided to get used to Sulemani’s behaviour and to ignore it, that he (Kusanira) got some relief.  The manager realised that he had a standard to maintain; thereby enduring to greet Sulemani politely irrespective of the subordinate’s rude behaviour.  “You know, had I followed my emotions and not greeted the guy, bystanders would never have known the difference between him and I”, he points out.  Kusanira could have allowed Sulemani’s behaviour to destroy his integrity, but instead, Sulemani’s consistently bad attitude contributed towards building the manager’s character.

Sometimes, people may irritate you so repeatedly that you can almost predict what they are just about to do or say.  Others may go as far as making it their business to offend you on purpose, just to get a kick out of seeing you vent out your fury or break down in tears.  Learn their behaviour.  Observe them and believe what you see.  Once you size them up; it can never be wisdom if you then allow their actions to inflict the same emotional pain each time.  You are better off learning their mannerisms.  This will make it easier for you to ignore their annoyances; and to adjust your expectations to a degree where their provocations do not shock you any longer.