01.04.03 The 1st Cost of Unforgiveness

1. Selling Off your Happiness to Enemies

My college-mate Apio and I had not met since completing our studies at the state university.  Despite our being close buddies, distance had worked against our friendship.  For no sooner had she graduated than she was posted to a secondary school far from the city.  “I’ve got a job”, she had cried with youthful excitement.  But little did she know that her dimpled smiles were just about to dry on her lips.  For not only did her new boss, Sembatya, resent educated African women, but he had ‘zero tolerance’ for supervisees with qualifications which he himself had failed to attain.  Therefore, the headmaster set out to ensure that Apio regretted the day she ever set foot at that school. 

Just a few months later, a ‘Mr. Wafuna’, the Chief Education Officer summoned Apio to his office, claiming that she had leaked the National Science Exams to her students.  “Your headmaster has a mouthful to say about your lack of ethics, young lady”, the Chief had said, glaring through his huge rimmed spectacles.  And from the tone of his voice, it was obvious that he believed every inch of Sembatya’s prefabricated malicious lies.  “That explains why your students performed extraordinarily well”, he added smugly.  

The Chief’s words were like a knife stabbing through Apio’s heart.  For she had always held Mr. Wafuna in high regard; trusting that he would make fair judgements in cases such as this one.  To add salt to injury, despite the fact that Sembatya’s antagonism had been plainly visible, Apio had never anticipated that the headmaster would stoop as low as making such false accusations.

A deep chasm followed thereafter, with Apio spending evening after evening locked up in her house crying her eyes out.  It was during one such evening that Sembatya’s driver dropped by to pick the office keys; explaining that the boss had forgotten his phone at the reception.  As he got into the car, he muttered that Sembatya and others were busy ‘chilling off’ at the village pub.  “Why not join us?”, he asked adding that the entire office team was having fun.  Plainly, despite Apio’s frets and wailings, Sembatya and company were ’living’.  My friend had failed to wake up to the truth that ‘there was life beyond Sembatya’.  Rather, by choosing to reminisce about her boss, Apio had condemned herself to endless emotional torture.

Focussing on offenders can easily hijack your happy moments and tranquillity; as by doing so, you give your enemies the ‘remote control’ to switch your joy on and off at leisure.  Moreover, before you know it, an offender becomes your major discussion topic.  This is sad.  For you end up punishing yourself whilst your enemy is running scot-free, enjoying life.  By refusing to forgive, you literally lock yourself up in a ‘cage’ while holding the keys to your freedom.  Needless to say, unforgiveness is a self-inflicted punishment…, drinking poison yet expecting your enemy to die.