01.02.Tool 2 : Self-Assessment
Self-Assessment: Unforgiveness Tendencies
How Do You Respond to Offences and Offenders?
Birungi's story illustrates how a person's thoughts, feelings, attitudes and reactions can reveal unresolved unforgiveness, even when the person believes otherwise.
This Self-Assessment invites you to examine tendencies that may be present in your own responses to offences and offenders.
Answer according to what you actually tend to think, feel or do, rather than what you believe you should do.
How to Complete the Assessment
For each statement, select the response that best describes your experience.
1 — Never | 2 — Rarely | 3 — Sometimes | 4 — Often | 5 — Very Often
A. What Happens in Your Thoughts?
1. I repeatedly think about what an offender did to me.
1 2 3 4 5
2. Something that reminds me of an offence can bring the experience vividly back to mind.
1 2 3 4 5
3. I mentally replay conversations or incidents connected with an offence.
1 2 3 4 5
4. I spend time anticipating that someone who offended me may offend me again.
1 2 3 4 5
B. What Happens in Your Feelings?
5. I experience strong negative feelings when I think about an offender.
1 2 3 4 5
6. Encountering an offender unexpectedly can unsettle me.
1 2 3 4 5
7. I become upset when circumstances require me to interact with an offender.
1 2 3 4 5
8. Discussing a serious offence can revive the emotions I experienced when it occurred.
1 2 3 4 5
C. What Happens in Your Attitude Towards the Offender?
9. I want an offender to experience the consequences of what he or she did.
1 2 3 4 5
10. I find it difficult to wish an offender well.
1 2 3 4 5
11. What an offender did to me continues to influence the way I view that person.
1 2 3 4 5
12. I find it difficult to recognise positive qualities in someone who has seriously offended me.
1 2 3 4 5
D. How Honestly Do You Acknowledge What Is Happening?
13. I say that I have forgiven an offender even when thinking about the offence still affects me.
1 2 3 4 5
14. I insist that I have nothing against an offender even when my words or reactions suggest otherwise.
1 2 3 4 5
15. I become defensive when someone suggests that I may not have forgiven an offender.
1 2 3 4 5
16. I avoid examining whether a past offence still influences the way I respond to an offender.
1 2 3 4 5
Your Unforgiveness Tendencies Score
Add your responses to Statements 1–16.
Your Score: ______ / 80
Understanding Your Score
16–31 — Few Tendencies Evident
Review any statements that you rated Often or Very Often. Even with a relatively low overall score, particular tendencies may deserve closer attention.
32–47 — Some Tendencies Evident
Identify the statements that received your highest ratings and consider whether they are concentrated in a particular area of the assessment.
48–63 — Several Tendencies Evident
Review where your highest ratings occur and consider whether particular offences or offenders are associated with several of these tendencies.
64–80 — Strong Tendencies Evident
Give particular attention to the tendencies you rated most highly and consider the offences or offenders with which they are associated.
Your total score provides an overall indication of the unforgiveness tendencies reflected in your responses. Your individual ratings are equally important because they can identify particular tendencies that deserve closer examination.
Taking a Closer Look
1. Which three statements received your highest ratings?
1. ______________________________________________________
2. ______________________________________________________
3. ______________________________________________________
2. In which area did most of your higher ratings occur?
☐ What Happens in Your Thoughts?
☐ What Happens in Your Feelings?
☐ What Happens in Your Attitude Towards the Offender?
☐ How Honestly Do You Acknowledge What Is Happening?
3. Do several of your higher-rated tendencies relate to the same offender or offence?
☐ Yes
☐ No
☐ I am not sure
If yes, which tendencies?
4. Were any of your ratings higher than you expected?
☐ Yes
☐ No
If yes, which ones? Why did the ratings surprise you?
Before You Move On
Which unforgiveness tendency identified through this assessment deserves the closest attention as you continue through the Guide? Why?