01.07.T02-SA — Self-Assessment: How Easy Do I Make It for Others to Forgive Me?
01.07.T02-SA — Self-Assessment: How Easy Do I Make It for Others to Forgive Me?
Purpose
This tool helps you assess your behaviour after you have offended someone and identify habits that may obstruct repair, forgiveness and restoration.
Scoring: Consistently = 4 Often = 3 Sometimes = 2 Rarely = 1
Part A: Apology and Responsibility
1. I say “I am sorry” clearly when I know that I have hurt someone.
☐ Consistently
☐ Often
☐ Sometimes
☐ Rarely
________________________________________________________________________________
2. I can apologise without believing that doing so lowers my status.
☐ Consistently
☐ Often
☐ Sometimes
☐ Rarely
________________________________________________________________________________
3. I avoid replacing an apology with gifts, friendliness or other indirect gestures.
☐ Consistently
☐ Often
☐ Sometimes
☐ Rarely
________________________________________________________________________________
4. I can apologise for my contribution to a conflict without insisting that the other person admit fault first.
☐ Consistently
☐ Often
☐ Sometimes
☐ Rarely
________________________________________________________________________________
Part B: My Response to Being Confronted
5. I resist becoming angry simply because I feel ashamed or exposed.
☐ Consistently
☐ Often
☐ Sometimes
☐ Rarely
________________________________________________________________________________
6. I listen when someone tells me that my behaviour caused hurt.
☐ Consistently
☐ Often
☐ Sometimes
☐ Rarely
________________________________________________________________________________
7. I avoid immediately defending myself or turning the conversation into a list of the other person’s faults.
☐ Consistently
☐ Often
☐ Sometimes
☐ Rarely
________________________________________________________________________________
8. I avoid silent treatment as a way of punishing someone after conflict.
☐ Consistently
☐ Often
☐ Sometimes
☐ Rarely
________________________________________________________________________________
Part C: Repairing the Damage
9. I make a deliberate effort not to repeat conduct that I have already apologised for.
☐ Consistently
☐ Often
☐ Sometimes
☐ Rarely
________________________________________________________________________________
10. I avoid excuses that make my apology appear insincere.
☐ Consistently
☐ Often
☐ Sometimes
☐ Rarely
________________________________________________________________________________
11. I respond constructively when another person offers an olive branch.
☐ Consistently
☐ Often
☐ Sometimes
☐ Rarely
________________________________________________________________________________
12. I do not withhold opportunities, benefits or cooperation as punishment for someone who challenged my behaviour.
☐ Consistently
☐ Often
☐ Sometimes
☐ Rarely
________________________________________________________________________________
13. I consider what the other person needs from me instead of expecting forgiveness on my own terms.
☐ Consistently
☐ Often
☐ Sometimes
☐ Rarely
________________________________________________________________________________
Total Score: __________ / 52
Score Interpretation
13–22: The score suggests that making it easier for others to forgive me requires substantial attention. Review the lowest-rated statements and identify the attitudes or habits that need deliberate change.
23–32: The score suggests developing strength in making it easier for others to forgive me, but important inconsistencies remain. Give priority to the lower-rated responses.
33–42: The score suggests generally healthy making it easier for others to forgive me. Preserve the stronger patterns while strengthening the responses that are less consistent.
43–52: The score suggests strong and consistent making it easier for others to forgive me. Continue practising these qualities while remaining honest about any lower-rated response.
Part D: My Priority for Change
14. Which behaviour above most often makes you difficult to forgive?
________________________________________________________________________________
________________________________________________________________________________
________________________________________________________________________________
15. What emotion or fear usually drives that behaviour?
________________________________________________________________________________
________________________________________________________________________________
________________________________________________________________________________
16. Whom may you have made it unnecessarily difficult to forgive you?
________________________________________________________________________________
________________________________________________________________________________
________________________________________________________________________________
17. What could you do now to create a more constructive environment for that person?
________________________________________________________________________________
________________________________________________________________________________
________________________________________________________________________________
