01.05.T03-AP — Action Planning: Strengthening My Protection against Bitterness and Unforgiveness

Purpose

This tool helps you turn the chapter’s preventive practices into a personal system for protecting your heart before, during and after an offence.

Part A: My Known Vulnerabilities

1. Which expectations of family, friends, colleagues or other people most often leave you disappointed?

________________________________________________________________________________

________________________________________________________________________________

________________________________________________________________________________

2. Which past experience are you most likely to project onto a different person or future situation?

________________________________________________________________________________

________________________________________________________________________________

________________________________________________________________________________

3. Which personal trigger or personality tendency makes you particularly vulnerable to bitterness?

________________________________________________________________________________

________________________________________________________________________________

________________________________________________________________________________

4. Which friend or confidant tends to inflame rather than calm your negative feelings?

________________________________________________________________________________

________________________________________________________________________________

________________________________________________________________________________

Part B: My Preventive Practices

5. What expectation will you deliberately adjust?

________________________________________________________________________________

________________________________________________________________________________

________________________________________________________________________________

6. What will you do to remind yourself that a new person is not automatically another version of a past offender?

________________________________________________________________________________

________________________________________________________________________________

________________________________________________________________________________

7. How will you monitor your feelings before resentment takes root?

________________________________________________________________________________

________________________________________________________________________________

________________________________________________________________________________

8. What will you do when you notice yourself inventing motives or replaying an offence?

________________________________________________________________________________

________________________________________________________________________________

________________________________________________________________________________

9. What rule will you use before sending an angry message, making a decision or confronting someone?

________________________________________________________________________________

________________________________________________________________________________

________________________________________________________________________________

10. How will you decide what deserves attention and what is wiser to ignore?

________________________________________________________________________________

________________________________________________________________________________

________________________________________________________________________________

11. What question will help you put yourself in an offender’s shoes?

________________________________________________________________________________

________________________________________________________________________________

________________________________________________________________________________

Part C: My Support and Review

12. Who is a wise, discreet and non-judgemental person you can talk to when you are hurt?

________________________________________________________________________________

________________________________________________________________________________

________________________________________________________________________________

13. What behaviour will tell you that your preventive practices are working?

________________________________________________________________________________

________________________________________________________________________________

________________________________________________________________________________

14. When will you review whether bitterness is beginning to accumulate?

________________________________________________________________________________

________________________________________________________________________________

________________________________________________________________________________

15. Write one personal rule you want to adopt for protecting your heart from unforgiveness.

________________________________________________________________________________

________________________________________________________________________________

________________________________________________________________________________