01.02.T02-SA — Self-Assessment: Recognising the Hold of Unforgiveness in My Life
01.02.T02-SA — Self-Assessment: Recognising the Hold of Unforgiveness in My Life
Purpose
This tool helps you assess whether an offender or past offence may still be exercising an unhealthy hold over your thoughts, emotions, decisions and wellbeing.
Scoring: Often = 4 Sometimes = 3 Rarely = 2 Never = 1. For Yes/No items: Yes = 4 Not sure = 2 No = 1.
Part A: My Reactions to Offenders
1. The unexpected appearance or mention of a person who hurt me can still disturb my peace.
☐ Often
☐ Sometimes
☐ Rarely
☐ Never
________________________________________________________________________________
2. I find myself wishing that an offender will eventually suffer the consequences of what was done to me.
☐ Often
☐ Sometimes
☐ Rarely
☐ Never
________________________________________________________________________________
3. I have considered escaping a workplace, relationship or setting mainly because an offender is present there.
☐ Often
☐ Sometimes
☐ Rarely
☐ Never
________________________________________________________________________________
4. I sometimes insist that I am not bitter even when my words or thoughts about an offender are harsh.
☐ Often
☐ Sometimes
☐ Rarely
☐ Never
________________________________________________________________________________
5. I can identify at least one person whose wrongdoing still occupies more of my thinking than I want it to.
☐ Yes
☐ No
☐ Not sure
________________________________________________________________________________
Part B: The Effect on My Wellbeing
6. Thinking about an offender has affected my sleep, appetite, concentration or general peace.
☐ Often
☐ Sometimes
☐ Rarely
☐ Never
________________________________________________________________________________
7. I have allowed the behaviour of an offender to determine whether I have a good or bad day.
☐ Often
☐ Sometimes
☐ Rarely
☐ Never
________________________________________________________________________________
8. My emotional reaction to an offence has affected the way I perform my responsibilities.
☐ Often
☐ Sometimes
☐ Rarely
☐ Never
________________________________________________________________________________
9. People close to me have noticed that an offence changed my mood or behaviour.
☐ Yes
☐ No
☐ Not sure
________________________________________________________________________________
Total Score: __________ / 36
Score Interpretation
9–15: The score suggests limited evidence that the hold of unforgiveness is presently affecting your life. Remain attentive to any individual statement that you rated highly.
16–22: The score suggests some evidence of the hold of unforgiveness. Identify the higher-rated responses and address them before they become more established.
23–29: The score suggests significant evidence of the hold of unforgiveness. The higher-rated responses require deliberate attention and practical action.
30–36: The score suggests strong evidence that the hold of unforgiveness is affecting your life. Give urgent attention to the highest-rated responses and seek wise support where necessary.
Part C: My Honesty with Myself
10. Which person or experience is most likely to expose unresolved bitterness in you?
________________________________________________________________________________
________________________________________________________________________________
________________________________________________________________________________
11. What words or behaviours would someone close to you point to as evidence that you are still hurt?
________________________________________________________________________________
________________________________________________________________________________
________________________________________________________________________________
12. What would you need to admit honestly before you could begin to experience greater emotional freedom?
________________________________________________________________________________
________________________________________________________________________________
________________________________________________________________________________
13. What is the greatest risk of allowing an offender to continue occupying your thoughts in the way Lutalo occupied Birungi’s?
________________________________________________________________________________
________________________________________________________________________________
________________________________________________________________________________
