01.03.T02-SA — Self-Assessment: Identifying Symptoms of Unforgiveness in My Life
01.03.T02-SA — Self-Assessment: Identifying Symptoms of Unforgiveness in My Life
Purpose
This tool helps you assess whether the symptoms illustrated by Katalina, Nassama, Laheri, Chipo, Abigayeli and Tibaine are present in your own responses to offenders.
Scoring: Often = 4 Sometimes = 3 Rarely = 2 Never = 1
Part A: Avoidance and Recurring Pain
1. I deliberately change my movements, routines or conversations to avoid a person because of an unresolved offence.
☐ Often
☐ Sometimes
☐ Rarely
☐ Never
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2. Seeing, hearing about or thinking of a particular person revives old emotional pain.
☐ Often
☐ Sometimes
☐ Rarely
☐ Never
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3. I feel relief when I do not have to encounter a particular offender.
☐ Often
☐ Sometimes
☐ Rarely
☐ Never
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Part B: Replaying and Publicising Offences
4. I bring up old wrongs when the same person makes a new mistake.
☐ Often
☐ Sometimes
☐ Rarely
☐ Never
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5. I repeatedly tell other people what an offender did to me.
☐ Often
☐ Sometimes
☐ Rarely
☐ Never
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6. I feel some satisfaction when other people discover an offender’s faults.
☐ Often
☐ Sometimes
☐ Rarely
☐ Never
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7. I am tempted to damage an offender’s reputation because I believe the person deserves it.
☐ Often
☐ Sometimes
☐ Rarely
☐ Never
________________________________________________________________________________
Part C: Anger and Brooding
8. Small mistakes by someone who previously hurt me provoke unusually strong reactions.
☐ Often
☐ Sometimes
☐ Rarely
☐ Never
________________________________________________________________________________
9. I withhold assistance, warmth or cooperation from someone because of an earlier offence.
☐ Often
☐ Sometimes
☐ Rarely
☐ Never
________________________________________________________________________________
10. I spend long periods asking myself how a person could have treated me that way.
☐ Often
☐ Sometimes
☐ Rarely
☐ Never
________________________________________________________________________________
11. I become gloomy or withdrawn when I dwell on an offence.
☐ Often
☐ Sometimes
☐ Rarely
☐ Never
________________________________________________________________________________
Total Score: __________ / 44
Score Interpretation
11–18: The score suggests limited evidence that symptoms of unforgiveness is presently affecting your life. Remain attentive to any individual statement that you rated highly.
19–27: The score suggests some evidence of symptoms of unforgiveness. Identify the higher-rated responses and address them before they become more established.
28–35: The score suggests significant evidence of symptoms of unforgiveness. The higher-rated responses require deliberate attention and practical action.
36–44: The score suggests strong evidence that symptoms of unforgiveness is affecting your life. Give urgent attention to the highest-rated responses and seek wise support where necessary.
Part D: My Diagnosis
12. Which symptom appears most strongly in your life at present?
________________________________________________________________________________
________________________________________________________________________________
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13. Which person or offence is most closely connected to that symptom?
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14. What have you previously called that behaviour instead of recognising it as possible unforgiveness?
________________________________________________________________________________
________________________________________________________________________________
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15. What could change if you stopped denying or justifying that symptom?
________________________________________________________________________________
________________________________________________________________________________
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01.03.T03-AP — Action Planning: Addressing My Symptoms of Unforgiveness
Purpose
This tool helps you develop practical actions for responding to the specific symptoms of unforgiveness that you have identified in yourself.
Part A: My Priority Symptoms
1. Which symptom of unforgiveness will you address first?
________________________________________________________________________________
________________________________________________________________________________
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2. What normally triggers that symptom?
________________________________________________________________________________
________________________________________________________________________________
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3. What has that symptom already cost you emotionally or relationally?
________________________________________________________________________________
________________________________________________________________________________
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Part B: Replacing the Symptom
4. If avoidance is a problem, what safe and appropriate behaviour will replace unnecessary avoidance?
________________________________________________________________________________
________________________________________________________________________________
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5. If recurrent emotional pain is a problem, what will you do when an old memory is triggered?
________________________________________________________________________________
________________________________________________________________________________
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6. If re-narrating offences is a problem, what boundary will you set on repeatedly discussing or mentally replaying the wrongdoing?
________________________________________________________________________________
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7. If publicising wrongdoing or desiring revenge is a problem, what will you do instead when you hear negative news about the offender?
________________________________________________________________________________
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8. If uncontrolled anger is a problem, what will you do before responding to the offender?
________________________________________________________________________________
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9. If brooding is a problem, what constructive activity or thought pattern will interrupt prolonged dwelling on the offence?
________________________________________________________________________________
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Part C: Monitoring My Progress
10. What behaviour will show that the symptom is weakening?
________________________________________________________________________________
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11. Who can help you recognise the symptom when you fail to notice it yourself?
________________________________________________________________________________
________________________________________________________________________________
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12. When will you review your progress?
________________________________________________________________________________
________________________________________________________________________________
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13. What will emotional freedom from this symptom look like in practical terms?
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