01.04.T03-AP — Action Planning: Stopping the Personal Costs of Unforgiveness

Purpose

This tool helps you identify the price that unforgiveness may be demanding from you and plan practical steps to stop paying it.

Part A: Counting the Cost

1. Which offence is presently costing you the most?

________________________________________________________________________________

2. What is it costing you in happiness, health, relationships, work, purpose, finances or self-respect?

________________________________________________________________________________

3. Which cost could become irreversible if you allow the pattern to continue?

________________________________________________________________________________

Part B: Reclaiming What Matters

4. What will you do to stop giving an offender control over your daily happiness?

________________________________________________________________________________

5. Which relationship needs protection from the spill-over effects of your bitterness?

________________________________________________________________________________

6. Which goal, responsibility or vision must you refuse to abandon because of an offender?

________________________________________________________________________________

7. What form of retaliation, competition or unhealthy coping will you stop?

________________________________________________________________________________

8. If self-blame is part of your struggle, what truth will help you accept what cannot be changed and move forward?

________________________________________________________________________________

Part C: Making Better Decisions

9. What important decision should you postpone until you can think without being driven by hurt?

________________________________________________________________________________

10. Who can give you an objective perspective before you make that decision?

________________________________________________________________________________

11. What positive action can redirect energy currently being spent on the offender?

________________________________________________________________________________

Part D: My Commitment

12. Complete this statement: The cost I am no longer willing to pay is __________.

________________________________________________________________________________

13. What will you do this week to begin reclaiming that part of your life?

________________________________________________________________________________