01.03.T01-RS — Reflection Scorecard: Recognising the Common Symptoms of Unforgiveness
01.03.T01-RS — Reflection Scorecard: Recognising the Common Symptoms of Unforgiveness
Purpose
This tool helps you reflect on the chapter’s different manifestations of unforgiveness and on the danger of appearing well outwardly while resentment remains active within.
Part A: Learning from the Chapter’s Stories
1. What does the infected-watermelon illustration in Harika’s story teach about unforgiveness that is hidden beneath an outward appearance of wellbeing?
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2. What can be learnt from Katalina physically avoiding Nathani while continuing to carry him in her thoughts?
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3. What does Nassama’s reaction to seeing Nyelo after several decades reveal about emotional pain that has never been resolved?
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4. How did Laheri’s repeated re-narration of her husband’s past offences prevent genuine restoration in their marriage?
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5. Why did Chipo’s satisfaction at Kalema’s dismissal fail to remove her bitterness?
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6. What did Abigayeli’s disproportionate anger towards Susan reveal to the employees who observed her?
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7. How did Tibaine’s brooding and withdrawal affect his marriage with Desta rather than resolve the hurt between them?
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Part B: Distinguishing the Symptoms
8. Which of the chapter’s symptoms can most easily be mistaken for a reasonable response to hurt?
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9. Why can avoidance provide physical distance without producing emotional freedom?
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10. What is the difference between remembering an offence and repeatedly re-narrating it in a way that keeps bitterness alive?
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11. Why can enjoying an offender’s downfall be a warning sign even when the offender genuinely behaved badly?
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Part C: Personal Reflection
12. Which of the symptoms in this chapter is easiest for you to recognise in yourself?
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13. Which symptom would you be most tempted to deny or justify?
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14. What lesson from Birungi’s admission that she was experiencing several symptoms is most relevant to you?
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