01.04.T02-SA — Self-Assessment: The Costs Unforgiveness May Be Creating in My Life
01.04.T02-SA — Self-Assessment: The Costs Unforgiveness May Be Creating in My Life
Purpose
This tool helps you examine whether unresolved offences are already affecting your happiness, wellbeing, relationships, vision, judgement or self-worth.
Scoring: Often = 4 Sometimes = 3 Rarely = 2 Never = 1. For Yes/No items: Yes = 4 Not sure = 2 No = 1.
Part A: Happiness and Wellbeing
1. An offender can still determine whether I feel peaceful or distressed on a particular day.
☐ Often
☐ Sometimes
☐ Rarely
☐ Never
________________________________________________________________________________
2. Dwelling on an offence interferes with my concentration or productivity.
☐ Often
☐ Sometimes
☐ Rarely
☐ Never
________________________________________________________________________________
3. I use unhealthy habits, distractions or comforts to escape painful feelings caused by another person.
☐ Often
☐ Sometimes
☐ Rarely
☐ Never
________________________________________________________________________________
Part B: Relationships
4. People close to me become tired of hearing about the same offender or offence.
☐ Often
☐ Sometimes
☐ Rarely
☐ Never
________________________________________________________________________________
5. My bitterness towards one person spills over into the way I treat other people.
☐ Often
☐ Sometimes
☐ Rarely
☐ Never
________________________________________________________________________________
6. I have damaged a relationship while trying to retaliate against someone who hurt me.
☐ Yes
☐ No
☐ Not sure
________________________________________________________________________________
Part C: Purpose and Decisions
7. I have considered abandoning an important goal, workplace or responsibility because it reminds me of an offender.
☐ Yes
☐ No
☐ Not sure
________________________________________________________________________________
8. I have tried to prove myself to an offender through competition, achievement or display.
☐ Often
☐ Sometimes
☐ Rarely
☐ Never
________________________________________________________________________________
9. I have made a decision while hurt that I later regretted.
☐ Yes
☐ No
☐ Not sure
________________________________________________________________________________
Part D: My Relationship with Myself
10. I repeatedly blame myself for an outcome that I cannot now change.
☐ Often
☐ Sometimes
☐ Rarely
☐ Never
________________________________________________________________________________
11. I find it harder to forgive myself than to forgive other people.
☐ Often
☐ Sometimes
☐ Rarely
☐ Never
________________________________________________________________________________
Total Score: __________ / 44
Score Interpretation
11–18: The score suggests limited evidence that the personal costs of unforgiveness is presently affecting your life. Remain attentive to any individual statement that you rated highly.
19–27: The score suggests some evidence of the personal costs of unforgiveness. Identify the higher-rated responses and address them before they become more established.
28–35: The score suggests significant evidence of the personal costs of unforgiveness. The higher-rated responses require deliberate attention and practical action.
36–44: The score suggests strong evidence that the personal costs of unforgiveness is affecting your life. Give urgent attention to the highest-rated responses and seek wise support where necessary.
12. Which cost above is presently the greatest warning sign for you?
________________________________________________________________________________
________________________________________________________________________________
________________________________________________________________________________
13. What could become worse if you do not address the unforgiveness connected to that cost?
________________________________________________________________________________
________________________________________________________________________________
________________________________________________________________________________
14. What could you regain if you stopped paying that price?
________________________________________________________________________________
________________________________________________________________________________
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