02.02.09 Mr. Paper Is Your Best Friend, He Never Forgets – Always Take Notes!

22. MY LONG-TERM FRIEND ‘THE TRIBAL SCAR’

A remote tribe has the tradition of scarring children behind the ear as a means of identification.  This seemingly barbaric practice, a darling of some cultures, has become notorious in other circles.  In fact, there is a chronic debate on whether such facial scarification should be banned.  Nonetheless, one day, this ancient tradition turned someone’s future from ‘hopeless’ to ‘hope’, as the story goes.

Long time ago in a peaceful remote African village, a volcanic eruption struck without notice, leaving several dead and many injured.  Tema (as he later came to be known), like many other children found himself wandering about with fright in the aftermath of the disaster, as he could not find his family members who had run helter-skelter, each towards an unknown direction.

Europeans, working for a disaster relief agency were quick to arrive on the scene, laden with the much needed drugs, food and other necessities.  Tina, one of the relief workers, came across a meandering two-year old boy; and was compelled to keep him hoping that someone would claim him.  No one did!  Eventually, she decided to bring him up as a foster-child, naming him ‘Tema’ which meant ‘Found’.  At the end of the relief operation, Tina took him with her to Europe.

The boy happened to be extraordinarily intelligent, a thing which motivated Tina to take him to medical school.  Her efforts paid off, as Tema eventually became one of the best eye surgeons in the land.

One time, an opportunity came for Tema to join a team of eye surgeons on a mission to provide free operations for cataracts.  He was excited as it meant experiencing Africa, a continent which Tina had lovingly talked about very often; including the circumstances that preceded his being taken to Europe.

The eye mission went smoothly.  Many villagers filed up to be checked and several had eye problems.  However, one elderly woman, Gedi, had stuck to Tema’s memory as she looked strikingly familiar.  Also, she had an unusual tenderness that seemed to flow through her partially impaired vision.  But what was most intriguing was the scar behind her ear, which Tema had noticed during the operation.  Strangely, Gedi’s scar was remarkably similar to his!    

When Gedi’s bandages were removed a few days after the operation, she had fully regained her vision.  But as an overjoyed Gedi thanked Tema, the surgeon noticed slight but recurrent and rather sad searching stares that would freeze his patient’s smile for very brief minutes.  “Are you alright?” he asked with concern.  Then, Gedi responded, “Doctor, you remind me of someone very dear to me ...” It was obvious that her mind was burdened.  

Tema listened as Gedi recounted her painful memory of the volcanic eruption that had taken her baby son in its wake.  Tears welled in her eyes as she related with apparent grief, “I never even got to bury him..!”  But as Tema consoled the old lady, questions cruised in his mind “…the volcanic disaster.., Tina’s story about how he had been discovered and the meaning of the scar behind his ear… Could there be a connection with what Gedi was relating?”  The only way was to find out.  “And the scar behind your ear, did you have an accident?” Tema asked. “Oh, that is a tribal inscription used for identification” Gedi explained with unhidden pride.  “In fact” she added, “one can tell which family someone comes from by just looking at the scar”.  

Tema’s heart raced with uncontainable anticipation – could this woman be his mother?  “Gedi”, he exclaimed, “I happen to have a scar behind my ear.  Would you like to have a look?”  Her bony fingers felt the scar as she looked at it intently.  Then, “Oh, my son... my long lost son” she cried uncontrollably holding Tema so tightly, as if to protect him from the burning lava of a furious volcano.  Mother and child had been reunited by an inscription that had been designed by ancestors as a remedy for forgetfulness.  

Gedi and Tema’s story reminds us how our forefathers kept records, so as to inform the future.  They knew the confusion that forgetfulness could create in societies.  Even today, ‘forgetfulness’ is partly responsible for the ‘come back tomorrow-come back tomorrow’ syndrome that is characteristic of some certain organisations; which has resulted in rampant complaints from customers.  Like Tema’s tribe, the solution lies in ‘inscribing’ or ‘writing down’ so that the memory of events is preserved.  That way, issues can be followed up more efficiently and effectively.

The habit of jotting down things should be second nature for any professional.  We should not be fooled by good old self confidence, and just sit in meetings posing that “we will take all the stuff in, without bothering to take any notes”.  To the contrary, scientists report that if we do not write down what we hear, we forget 47% of the content within the first twenty minutes, and 62% after the first day.  

Therefore, next time you handle a customer, taking notes should be mandatory.  Not only will it help you to keep an accurate record of the dialogue, but it will also show the customer that what she or he is saying is important. 

Condition yourself to write down events in life.  Remember that the day ‘a forgetful mind’ threatens to betray you, these records could be the rescue that will save you from a hopeless future.